at a loss

but for the record, not unhappy.
there's just too much going on inside now that it's competing with what's going on outside that i'm disoriented.

in an attempt to regain my balance i've been writing a lot -- here, in my journal, sticky notes tacked to my wall, back of receipts ...
i just need to siphon everything out so i can step back and rearrange the pieces to my emtional puzzle and make a big beautiful -- not necessarily pretty -- picture that may or may not make sense.

i still go about The Everyday but it spills over. i spent hours on end talking with jojo the past week because she sees what i don't and i want to see whatshe's seeing.

i'm hoping this will all dissipate soon but The Meantime is a bitch.

i've had prescriptive glasses half of my life.
and half the time i don't wear them :p

for one thing, i'm pango so i only have my ears to make sure they don't fall off.
it also got a lot in the way of my everyday life :p

i got contacts after college and i only got to wear them once.
it was an ordeal trying to put them on without anyone's help so needless to say i gave up trying hahaha.
i just resorted to my cute plastic specs and tried hard not to get annoyed at the old school lisa loeb reference.

i've been toying around with the idea of getting contacts again but given my legendary blink reflex,i was hesitant. i was afraid of blowing cash again on something i was not going to use.

but guess what, yesterday, i got a pair of lenses. putting them on took quite a while. it didn't take the whole day but if it was a task in the amazing race, we'd be eliminated. anyway i was able to put them on unassisted, so yay me!



so it's not the prescriptive ones that i need but it's a start.
vanity won over practicality eh. sue me.

back to basics

osho reduced it to two things:
people stay if they are happy
people leave if they are unhappy

so why not make people happy instead of expecting them to make you happy?
let it come from you.
besides, if you make someone happy, won't that make you happy?

it's that simple really.

when did it become so difficult?
that anyone would actually want to be defined by misery is beyond me.

i don't know why there are some who actually prefer being miserable.
forsan miseros meliora sequentur -- for those in misery, perhaps beter things will follow.
better ate, hindi bitter.

it's a good thing j gets it.

and i hope one day, you do too.

love from sabel

more pictures in hanivanivers/boracay bliss

feeling better + quest for the elusive cheap thai food

but i'm still keeping my appointment with sister luisa :)

more on yesterday because i got sleepy.

iza texted in the morning asking if i wanted to meet up because she was craving for sr thai.
i asked her if she was craving for thai food or sr thai specifically.
"cheap thai food mare. i have budget constraints but my friend needs me."
** is that not the sweetest?

anyway, cheap thai food. eh di soms ... but more on that later.

so we made plans to go out after mass. planned to get my hair cut (didn't happen) so i went to phase 3. heard mass sa phase 2 and ito na, the soms adventure.

iza said that there's soms na sa QC. i didn't know that.
she was positive that there was, around the ABS-CBN area. so we were driving around for an hour na when we finally gave up. i told na we'll just have dinner sa thai kitchen so we parked there but it was so second rate so outside the place, we called people! siguro naman at least one of the 40 billion people we called would know where it was. i even called an ex's friend who lived in the scout area. we were that desperate hahahaha we were hungry na eh. our EQ was room temp na no.
of all the people we called only iza's brother chico and marco picked up. marco didn't know where it was, chico even asked chikoy and and he didnt know where it was.
it felt like the twilight zone. francis, who texted an hour later i think, reckons people were avoiding us :p
so far,our response rate was
pick up - marco, chico
sms - francis after an hour, ge-ann and kerol, the following morning.

the rest? wala hahaha. maybe francis is right or MAYBE god is trimming the fat and leaving me with my handful nyahahaha
so yeah, we decided to just go for sr thai so from timog, we drove back to katupunan (and this is after seriously contemplating driving to espana fo the sr thai behind UST ha? pag gutom talaga, irrational!)
we had like really sabaw hirits in the car:
"ayun o thai! thai massage. pamasahe na lang tayo."
"asian food! ayun! filipino!"
"pa-tattoo na lang kaya ako?"
"thai-wanese food ayaw mo?"
"hap chan na lang kaya? chowking?"
and the dialogue of the night:
"alam ko may maliit na thai karinderia sa katipunan. di ko alam pangalan pero may drawing ng elephant tapos yellow and purple."
"of course! pag may purple na elephant, sure na thai yun."
hahahaha! love her to bits.

anyway off to sr thai:
when we got to where it was, guess what. the place was closed. as in closed, closed! not just for the day but forever :p
so we made our way around again, deciding on cantina but ending up where?
here:



churyaki voy. hahaha.

to replace our catfish mango salad, bagoong rice, pad thai and tom yum craving we got






and



plus i finally got what i didn't get sa jonah's:



avocado shake yay!

after being bondat, we went to seattle's best. we had tea and sympathy, coffee and tears, talked about our kabakyaan with boys nung college para naman we'll laugh ... being tanga, and blind and scared and bokya hahaha

it's always like that with iza.
i heart her.

a curve ball from god

"jinggay! i haven't seen you cry since 2004!"

because since 2004 i had no reason to. boo!
that last night sa bocaray is what kamote fries are made of.

thank you kerol for being there.

summer is starting early

it's still a week but i'm so psyched for boracay!
rest!

hello hedonism, i missed you :p