we love ysabella

because we are bakya.

since the soap started, we've been intrigued with the lasa of Victoria's chicken and God bless the markting genius behind the idea of making it available to the viewing public.




hello, chicken. i love you.

it's like andok's* with crispy skin and there's the hint of sinamak sa end.


*i'm cheap, i love andok's eh. i eat andok's in boracay :p

awake

the past few days have been an awakening of sorts.
leave it to me to turn a blind eye and let everyone i hold dear off the hook.

last tuesday, i caught myself off guard when i started crying while telling jojo my story.

i haven't had coffee and tears in a long time.
of course i wasn't able to tell jojo everything but she got it.

i got berated for not being open, for not giving them any inkling how grave things were.
'wag mo kasi daanin sa biro.'
'wag mong ipinagdadamot sa self mo yung kindness na you freely bestow on others.'

those two things, i can't help. happiness is my social dysfunction; couple that with buddhism and you got me.


i felt kind of sheepish having to be reminded that i have 45,098,245,078 people around me who love me and are willing to listen. for someone as madaldal as i am, i can be pretty mum about the more important stuff.

my drama queen days are over. i'm more like an iron princess.
so fuck you for mistaking me for a courtesan.

:p

i feel useless

i guess i'm just so used with doing so many things, being busy and stuff that being not busy is making me sort of well, sad.

i was so ready to fix my room today but tara was here so nge. bukas.
i hate putting things off pa naman.
i'm scared kasi na if i put something off, knowing my utak, i'll end up forgetting or not wanting to do it at all because the moment of 'wanting to' (parang chinese na profound word 'no?) passed na and i do't really do retro wanting.
once i get over it, finish na. period. heehee.

wait.
i do agains pala.
rarely but it happens.
in my life, agains are pretty powerful. strong enough to make the same -- sometimes stronger -- impact in a different place/time/circumstance.

hay. i think kulang lang ako sa food.

today i made jalapeno and cilantro sour cream cheese quesadilla (na walang picture because we ate it na before i remembred food porning it).

ito na lang.
it's a mommy-daddy pic. go figure :p



extra pa yung shoulder ko sa mirror hahaha
argh! i'm bored!!!

vintage dolphins

filmed in funk-a-vision :p
trying out the old film effect. perfect for tagpi-tagpi videos. wala lang.
pwede na ako gumawa ng sarili kong verison ng the ring ... pero hindi ako sa well lalabas, sa fountain :p

...

too tired to blog.
kerol, our coffee date kanina would've been timely.
i didn't know i needed to talk pala.

need to weed

::: (walang connection but eh hidni ako coherent eh, ba't ba?)
because i'm almost done spring cleaning, my next thing-to-do is plant my own garden BECAUSE (say it with me kerol) we should not wait for someone to bring us flowers :p the last time someone gave me flowers because wala lang (and not because my pet died or because it's balentayms or it's my birthday) was so long ago i think the note that came with it was written in latin. :::

anyway, weeding -- it's a necessary evil. poor weeds don't mean any harm, it's just the way they were wired but for my garden to thrive, i need to uproot them.
it's nothing um, personal. hey if it were up to me, i'd rather the weeds co-exist peacefully with the pretty flowers but nge. so weeding is a have-to-do. those weeds, they can grow wherever they want and live out their purpose but not nga lang in my garden :p

like people.
sometimes, there are people in your life that need to be weeded out. it's not something you enjoy doing, because these are people nga and not unnecesary foliage lang but what will you do? wait for them to choke the life out of you?

i've been thinking about how to (for want of a better word) eliminate the weeds out of my life. some were pretty easy -- as in guiltlessly cutting off ties --- but there've been a couple that were pretty tricky.
weed grew the same time the flower did and magka dr. quack-quack na yung roots nila eh. kamote.
you've no choice but to uproot the flower as well, gingerly separate its roots from the roots of the weed, replant the flower in a pretty plant box and discard the weed to be burned later.

hirap, man. how do you do that without coming off as the cruel , heartless gardener?
you kid na lang tuloy yourself, thinking the weed's opinion should not matter kasi nga weed but that's so againts the gardener's nature. a gardener should be nurturing, making sure that the flowers bloom pero at the same time, killer sha ng weed.

bi-polar much?

hay. i kind of hate have-to-do's. i'm all for duty and responsibility but sometimes, i'm called to do it with clenched jaws and fists.

parehas ng stance ng boxer.
mag kaiba lang yung gloves.

so mag garden na lang talaga ako na naka boxers. ever.

now i can write

i had two kilos of "aarrgh" in my chest (and no, i'm not talking about the girls :p) and i didn't want to soil my blog by writing about them.
i let it out na so that's over.

i guess i'm just really lucky thankful to have people in my life who get me, and they are the ones i laugh with, and run to and keep.
PLUS they know the irritating, annoying, unlovable side of me
--- like how cranky i get when i'm hungry, how condescending i can sometimes sound, how i wish all the bad karma in the universe be reaped by a certain co-dependent, attention-whoring girl who is rotten rotten rotten to the very core ---
AND STILL forgive me for it because they get it.

i hope everyone has at least one person in their life who gets them, you know, people who not just understand but as in really really GET them.
yes, even that co-dependent, attention-whoring girl who is rotten rotten rotten to the very core.

the inner quiet you get by just being around them (even if your chismisan and laughter is loud enough to wake the dead) is priceless.
i can't describe what it's like but
if you have people like that in yours, you'll get it.

purgare anima meum

exhale.

i don't respond to passive-aggressive behaviour.
if you're mad pissed at me, tell me because really, you won't get anything from me if you're being cold and deadma.
i don't pick up on that.
i'm um, how do i say this -- dense. hahaha.
and you'll end up going crazier by the minute because my cluelessness will make it seem i'm nananadya tapos you'll end up giving up. sayang time and effort mo tuloy na you're mad tapos hindi ko alam diba?
BUT
on the rare occasion na gets ko, i'll get tired of waiting around for the set-to (sorry i don't corner people into admitting how they feel about me. that's too histrionic even for me)tapos i'll erase you na lang from my universe. i have no room for artistas.
that's it pansit.
that's my rant for the year. thank you.

on a happier happier notechibel, i have a new puppy.


haha kamukha ko.
the dawg and his bitch.
i'm crazy in love with him.

after pato died, jek gave birth to 5 puppies.
2 were stillborn so we had three puppies for a month -- espresso, latte and mocha.
and then jek died because of some freak accident (na i don't want to talk about because it will make me all kinds of sad and angry again and i don't like feeling that way.)
anyway, so espresso became all weak and tamad to eat and we thought he was just depress-depressan so we had him confined and stuff para mag live pero namatay eh.
shoot. tapos i talked to the vet and i asked her kung baka parvo and it was!
so nag panic naman ako and i told my mommy to confine the two other puppies.

yung lobby namin parang doggie hospital. long story short, gumaling naman yung dalawa but latte died of complications and si mocha na lang.

and now he's the king of everything.

our kitties tuloy are confined to the kitchen and the banyo, poor things.




i don't want naman to bring them out kasi it's starting to rain and they might get wet and scared and run away tapos i'll worry about them -- if they've eaten na, or if they're cold or baka they got run over and shit hay!

pet love = strezzz!